Natalie Pellersels , 16
Phoenix AZ
natterbug@cox.net
In my life, nothing has ever been very clear. But then again, I'm 16 and life is new and full of surprises. There was something missing though: religion. I was exposed to Christianity at a young age because my mother was raised as a Christian and attempted to share that with us. It wasn't a big part of our family for we never went to church or prayed before meals. My belief in God went to the extent of saying my prayers every night, asking God to protect me and those who I love. It all seemed to work for my young mind and life was good.
Just before I turned seven, we moved again, and a hardcore Christian family lived across the street from us. I became friends with the children and actually went to church with them a few times. That's when I knew the Christian religion was not for me because how they lived their lives did not fit my beliefs. I believed in God and that was it.
That changed as I grew older. I started to feel a strong sense of loneliness, which in my eyes, meant that we are alone in this world. The concept of God became too far-fetched of an idea for my mind to grasp and I no longer believed in Him. It didn't seem logical that one man, or spiritual being, controlled everything that happened in the world. I knew that there had to be a greater meaning in everything besides an ultimate creator. So my beliefs changed. I believed that everything happens for a reason and that the world is in complete balance: light/dark, good/bad, etc. I believed in an inner spirit in every being on the planet, connecting us all in a way. I also believed in reincarnation because life simply ending after death did not seem possible, and neither did heaven. That was the extent of my beliefs, and I just considered myself Agnostic and nothing else.
During my sophomore year in high school, I was assigned a research paper in my English class. We had been reading Macbeth at the time and had to relate our research topic to a major theme in the play. My teacher provided us with a list of possibilities and "Witchcraft/Occult" immediately popped out. I have always been interested in witchcraft and the thought of magic always enchanted me. This topic seemed perfect for me. The purpose of my paper was to prove that witchcraft is completely blown out of proportion because it truly is not evil. I compared the real customs and such of the Wiccan religion with the common belief of witchcraft. I really enjoyed researching and writing the paper because I realized that my beliefs fit in with this way of life. I put a large amount of voice and passion into the paper for I was defending what appeared to be my religion. I received an A+ on the paper, but I gained more than a good grade; I found my religion.
I don't participate in spells and incantations, but I may in the future. For me, Wicca is more of a spiritual aspect of life. It fits with my strong beliefs in animal rights and an existence of magic. My life does not revolve around my newfound beliefs because I don't have the time for such things, but it's simply nice to know that I belong to something. I see the world differently than most people that I know, and that's okay with me.
